Thursday, March 31, 2005

Self realization of lost youth

I noticed something that shocks me to the awe. First it was the scent, backyard cookout, being a kid and running around and then coming back to the grill for a dog or a burger. I didn't do that today. Our first nice day and I am reminded of the past. I hope life isn't best when you're young, for I have distinctive memories of all the stupid shit that was done and turned out to be far more entertaining than anything of today. What I lack more than the smokey grilling of the air is the spontaneous combustion of energy of yesteryear. The lack of commitment, responsibility, or concern is what I miss the most. Since my mind constantly turns over the pages of my future I miss the present. When I all had was what was in front of me I could live it, siezing the day for it was all I had. As I think not only of tomarrow, but of tomarrow's tomarrow I miss each day as it has served its purpose of leading me closer to tomarrow, which is closer to the end.

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